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Bust Dean Outta Hell Brigade Headquarters :: Remember the Fallen :: Remember the Fallen :: In Memory of Madison (Maddie) :: Memories of our Beloved Maddie
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Gracen Miller
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Memories of our Beloved Maddie
« Thread Started on Jan 11, 2009, 2:47am »		[Quote]
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In Loving Memory of The Brigade's Fallen Soldier, Maddie!­


An angel that saw too much, too soon and was taken from this world before her time...

10/16/90 - 1/9/09

¡Ö¡Ö¡Ö¡Ö¡Ö¡Ö¡Ö¡Ö¡Ö¡Ö¡Ö¡Ö¡Ö¡Ö¡Ö¡Ö¡Ö¡Ö


The Brigade had been working hard all summer researching demons, levels of hell, potions, amulets, devil's traps, gris-gris bags, and you name it. Anything we thought would help us get our man out of hell was added to the research. We knew it had to be in depth and comprehensive because Alice Jester had already told us she was going to write about us in her blog on August 16, 2008 (article: http://blogcritics.org/archives/2008/08/15/115803.php). So, we were determined to be "all we could be" so to speak and make her proud of us. And if Kripke were to read it, he'd know he had some talented and amazing recruits willing and capable of serving his demon fighting army. ;-)

So, we posted our research (here at sn.tv: http://z14.invisionfree.com/Supernatural/index.php?showtopic=35659&st=0), Alice wrote her article and almost a month later on September 11, 2008, WarmForDean'sForm, better known as Maddie or Madz, came into Brigade HQ and tentatively asked "Can I join too? Please?!" In typical Brigade fashion, we wrapped our arms around her, welcomed her aboard our ride into hell to save our man and were bouncing off the walls as we did it. Madz never blinked an eye, but fit right in with the wacky, crazy and fiercely loyal Brigade.

Over the next several weeks, Madz ingrained herself into our lives and our hearts. At times she was silly, and we at the Brigade specialize in silliness. Laughter is the best medicine right? She was a Brigade Bungalow Girl and did justice to the title. Her heart was gentle and she cared about everyone, cared more about us than she did for herself.

And then she finally confessed that she was sick and had cancer. For me, it felt like she'd kicked my feet out from underneath me and beat the hell out of me while I was down. We all had problems and still do, but her problem went beyond the normal inanities of life and she was still more worried about us and not herself, telling us often "don't worry about me". That was so much easier said than done. Really, how could we not worry about her when she was fighting for her life? We loved her too much not to worry. I had this overwhelming sense of "the world is so f*cking unfair!" This 17 year old girl (18 at the time of her passing) was fighting for her life. Nothing was or is fair about it.

Madz fought this disease long and hard and more than once I feared we'd lose her before we did. The only joy I have received from her passing is knowing that she is no longer suffering. But I am so glad to have gotten the opportunity to know her because she touched my life in so many ways. I can't even put into words how special she is to me.

I cry writing this...I'm sad and depressed that a person I knew, loved and is ten times better than some I know will not be here to add that special light into my heart that she always did. I cry because all the evil people, dictators, politicians, criminals, rapists, pedophiles, wife/child abusers and the list goes on, live while her life was forfeited to an unreasonable world. I'm angry because of the injustice. There is NO justice in why life took her and not another that eagerly waits to inflict pain on another.

And while I sit here mentally ranting, physically crying, and my heart bleeding at the loss, I know in my heart Madz would not want me to mourn her life. She would be worried about us and our sorrow because Madz never worried about herself as much as she worried about all of us.

So, in HONOR of Madz, I'll celebrate her life. I've already said she was gentle, sweet and silly. She had a heart the size of the universe. Maybe that's why life took her...­her heart was so big she loved in 18 years what it will take me a lifetime to appreciate and love.

I'm not even sure how it began, but Madz and I had this silly game where we argued about whose Dean was...­mine or hers. I said he was MINE and she insisted that he was HERS. *laughs* We spent many pages on the Brigade arguing about this, all in good fun and, of course, good naturedly.

She was in the hospital and her spirits were down, so we each were given the opportunity to write something for Madz and send it to her through her sister, Kelly. Because of our ongoing "Mine" argument, I created this picture for her in hopes to cheer her up:

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And then the last night that I talked to her, she was struggling to remain awake to watch Jensen on Jimmy Kimmel live, but she was determined to do it. She was doing poorly by then and all of the Brigade was very worried about her. I encouraged her not to make herself sick waiting up for Jensen, that she would be able to catch it on the internet in the morning. But she promised me that she wouldn't make herself sick, that she would be fine, but that she really wanted to watch Jensen. The next morning we received the news of her passing, ­and that she had been excited to have managed to make it to see Jensen live on Jimmy Kimmel. I wonder if he knows how much he added to the joy she experienced in her short life?

I think of all the pettiness in my life, the arguments I have with my children, my husband, my friends, and the one thing that made her happy was catching Jensen live on JK. The thing that disturbs me the most, she and I came to an agreement that same night about whose Dean was. I asked her if hell had frozen over. Now, I wonder, did she know her time was near? Was that her special way of giving Dean to me? *wipes tears off my cheeks*

I love you, Madz! God, I love you. I'll never forget you and you'll always be a very special Brigade. I hope you passed knowing how special you were to me and to the entire Brigade and how much all of us love you. *salutes*

I open up this thread to anyone that wishes to memorialize the Brigade's fallen Soldier, Maddie.
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Re: Memories of our Beloved Maddie
« Reply #1 on Jan 11, 2009, 2:09pm »		[Quote]
You called me Superwoman. Hell if I ever got that, thought it made any sense. *laughs and shakes head.*

I still remember when you guys joined. Just after Alice's blog was posted. Her story about us got your attention, and you guys just had to come find out what the hype of the Brigade was about. Little did you and Kelly know that you'd be signing up not just as a "Soldier," but as a member of a long distance family that loved you as much as a sister as you loved all of us.

You want to know what really always has and will stick out with me when it comes to you, kid? Here you are in that hospital, going through so much pain, so much hell, and all you EVER wanted was to know if we were all alright. Was Shannon feeling better about herself? How were things with Pockets and her man? Was I taking care of myself while out on jobs. You only wanted to know how everyone was faring. And if we hadn't heard from a member in a few days you got so worried, so freaked out. How many can be laying there in that state and only think about the people in her life instead? Damn, you were a rare one.

*laughs* I remember how you would always push me to call Gracen when I was out on a job. Making sure that I kept in touch with her to let her know that everything was alright or if something went sour. You were not even twenty yet; you shouldn't have to KNOW that spooks and demons are real. You should still just have to think it Hollywood hype. But you did, and all you wanted to know was that I was making sure to come back alive each night I was going out. It was why you called me Superwoman; God, I have never understood that. And the reason why? You're no more or less a hunter than anyone else out there, Maddie. You always were. You fought tooth and nail against a monster inside you that you couldn't see, that no one could, but that they knew was there. And just like a BDOHB soldier should and would, you went down SWINGING, kid.

My only regret is that you had to go down in the first place, and that there was nothing that I could do to make this particular kind of monster go away.

You knew what Jensen did for you. You saw the photo, cried so hard, even printed it and clutched it at night while you slept. But I promise you, that while the autograph itself never reached your hands that it WILL make it to you. Jensen would want you to take that with you for as much as he meant to you. I know you would want it too.

We'll see you someday, Madz. You fought like the hero that you never saw yourself as. I just hope that now, from where you are at, that you realize that. We always did.

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Re: Memories of our Beloved Maddie
« Reply #2 on Jan 11, 2009, 3:20pm »		[Quote]
I'm gonna try my best to do this.......

When I joined the Brigade, I only thought of another fan group. I wanted to join because it said Bust Dean Outta hell Brigade, so you see where my love and curiosity came from. LOL. Researching and writing stories about how we all can save Dean was the most fun I ever had, but being there more and more, I started feeling something. All the members there started to feel like family to me and The brigade was like my second home. It was a place and still is a place where I can go and talk about what's been bothering me. All of us just supported each other and cared for one another.


Everyone was once a newbie to the group. But our love for each other spreads so fast. It grew throughout the Brigade and it still keeps growing. Okay, what I'm trying to say is when Maddie first joined the group, she not only did that, but she also touched our lives like Vampy said. We all joked about being Soldiers in a war that would save Dean, but we were a big family. From all over. Internet didn't matter and neither did distance. Well, they matter, but in our hearts, we just felt like family. Our love for Supernatural, mostly Dean brought us together, but our love for each other brought us even closer. We learned a lot from each other.

My first thought when Maddie and her sister Kelly wanted to join, I was excited and scared at the same time. We were pretty crazy and I wasn't sure if that would scare them away, since they never joined a forum before. I kept asking myself if I should continue being myself, act like I always do. You never know how someone will respond to your craziness. Believe me, in my life, not to many people like how I act. They hate it when I go on and on about SN and Dean, but you could in the Brigade. Once Maddie saw how crazy were all were, I guess she felt right at home. She joined in on our craziness and so did her sister. While we were all going on and on about this, she was sick and was afraid that we would run away...or maybe kick her out of the group. I don't know, but she was scared to tell us. We didn't get scared or run away. We wanted to help her through this. We all still chatted about our beloved Winchesters and the amazing Supernatural and continued on with our craziness. We still cared about what was happening to Maddie, but she kept saying she didn't want us to worry about her. How could we not? All of us cared about her and Kelly. We weren't just gonna turn away from them and stop talking to them.

We always said, never leave a soldier behind...All I'm saying is. Maddie, wherever you are, we can never forget you.

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take all the lollipops you want.

If nobody understands why I put that up, here's the story.

Maddie came on two days ago and said her throat was sore and hurting real bad. So I suggested she try some purple teddy bear lollipops, since I tried them when I was little and they soothed my throat. Well, she joked around and said they were Dean flavored. *wipes tears away and smiles* It was something she started and then everyone wanted a Dean lollipop and I only had them. To make them more real, I made that banner up for Maddie, added his name and posted it.
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Re: Memories of our Beloved Maddie
« Reply #3 on Jan 11, 2009, 3:35pm »		[Quote]
This is really hard for me. Once I started back up in school, I went seriously MIA from the Brigade and by the time that I had gotten back, Maddie was already in a seriously bad state.

But let's not start off with what I'm going to say with the bad, let me start it off with the good.

Maddie was a kind, very generous person. I didn't know her in reality, but I could tell that just by what she would say when she'd climb onto the Internet and post some messages in the thread. She funny, smart, witty. I'm gonna miss her a lot.

When I first heard that Maddie had cancer, I couldn't believe my ears... well, my eyes, but I'm sure you all know what I mean. To die at 18, it's horrible. My grandfather died of cancer when I was seven so I understand how much of a b!tch it can really be.

But despite the pain and the hurt, Maddie fought, hard, against this disease. The last time I spoke to Maddie was the night that I shared a present with her to cheer her up... the other writers and I on our show named a character after her. She was so happy about that. That was also the night that I found out that her and her sister always watch the show when it comes on. It saddens me that Maddie did not survive long enough to see her character in action.

What I'm going to remember is Maddie's determination to live and I'm also going to remember that wherever Maddie is now, it is much better than her being on Earth. She is no longer in pain, she is no longer in distress.

For Maddie...
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Re: Memories of our Beloved Maddie
« Reply #4 on Jan 12, 2009, 7:13am »		[Quote]
I feel kind of out of place doing this, because I've not been with you guys long, but Chris assures me that it's alright, so I'm going to go ahead and say what's on my heart...

Like I said, I've not been with the Brigade for very long, but that in itself is a testament to Maddie, because in just a very short time she touched my heart in a way I'll never forget. She was definitely a very special girl, and my heart hurts from her loss...

When I met Maddie, I didn't know that she was sick... I didn't know for a few weeks. She struck me as a happy, bubbly, and extremely caring girl, and one thing that always stood out to me was how much she worried about everyone else... Then when I found out she was sick, it just made all those things amaze me even more. She had only talked to me once or twice before she started worrying about me, too... She was a sweetheart, the kind of person that you're lucky to meet.

I honestly feel like knowing Madison was a gift, that I believe all of us will cherish... When I was little, I was told that Angels sometimes walked on Earth as people, usually not as the type of person you would expect, and that they couldn't stay long... I can't help but wonder to myself now if that's true, and if it is, was Maddie one of them? It certainly would explain how she was able to love everyone so much... She always had time, during her own pain, to try and ease ours, and if that's not an angel, well... I don't know what is...

I'm crying now, so I'll stop... words are getting blurry... *hugs you all* I miss her, and I probably always will, but I'm trying not to hurt because she's gone, but remember my few happy memories of her, and keep her in my heart that way... I think she'd like that better...

In memory of Maddie...
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Re: Memories of our Beloved Maddie
« Reply #5 on Jan 12, 2009, 1:05pm »		[Quote]
Wow, Donna, you know I was thinking the same about Madison. She was and is even more so an Angel. To me she was the perfect example of God's love. She was so compassionate and so strong for someone of her years. Madison had a grace and light that shone through the darkness of her pain and torment as a reminder that goodness still exists. I have meet many people and there are only a few that I can say I am truly honored and blessed to have meet, Madison and her sister Kelly are at the very top of that list. They taught me so much about life and the human capacity for love and caring that is out there. And, yes while it is true that I mourn her loss; it remains even truer that I will celebrate her life. Madison, wherever you are I know that you are finally safe and warm and at peace. I love you Little Angel and always will. I won’t say goodbye, because you will live on in my heart.
It was requested that I add this: The night sky is brighter now with one more star to light our way.
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Re: Memories of our Beloved Maddie
« Reply #6 on Jan 12, 2009, 1:33pm »		[Quote]
Wow.. all these posts are really heartfelt and sincere. I'm not that great with "feeling" type words, but I'm going to try and convey what being in the Brigade, having Maddie as a friend and knowing her meant to me. I don’t have one particular story, but an overall view of our too short friendship.

Season three had just ended and like most people who are as obsessed with Supernatural as we are, I was looking for something to occupy my time until the new season started. Looking through the Supernatural.tv forums, I found this thread that was entitled, “Bust Dean Outta Hell Brigade”. So naturally, I went in and read the first few pages. Gracen had started a thread for people who wanted to figure a way to rescue our beloved Dean from hell, by doing some research, writing fanfics, hanging out and discussing what we thought about the show. I was immediately intrigued. I thought to myself, sounds a little wild, a little crazy and I have nothing else to do over the summer but wait for our show to start up again, so why not? I joined and was immediately accepted into the fold.

Not long after that we were recognized in Alice Jester’s blog, who saw we were doing something fun and constructive over the summer for our favorite show. Then a short time after that, Maddie and Kelly joined us. Instantly, Maddie won us over. Her shinning personality, her warmth and way of caring about people she hardly knew was a quality that we should all aspire to. Then of course there was her charismatic way of just jumping into the middle of a ludicrous conversation about who loved Dean Winchester more, her or us. We instantly became a family who bonded over a common love, and some would call an obsession. She was in the same mind as us, that if we were going to be obsessed over something, then Dean Winchester, Supernatural and the rest of the crazy Brigaders was well worth the time spent watching re-runs, writing fanfics, spending countless hours debating which photo of Dean was hotter and who would get to jump in with the first kiss after we successfully rescued him from hell.

But that was just one side of Maddie. Her days were filled with real life issues that most of us will never experience, but she was still compassionate enough to come on the boards, make us smile with her wit, make us care with her passion for life, give out free hugs to anyone who wanted it and type a kind word to anyone who needed it. She was brave and wise beyond her years and was too young to be taken from this world. She hadn’t had a chance to experience all the things she should have. But she was willing and ready for an adventure and she was a fighter. We fought the good fight and we won. Now she has gone on without us to a new adventure. If we are fortunate enough, perhaps one day, she and we, will be reunited and we will once again band together for a good cause!

I am a better person for knowing her. It was an honor to be her friend. She will be sorely missed and always, always greatly loved.

We love you Madz!
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Re: Memories of our Beloved Maddie
« Reply #7 on Jan 12, 2009, 1:50pm »		[Quote]
I've never been very good at expressing myself and my feelings but I'm gonna try to do this since Maddie is very close to my heart...

Maddie was a very sweet and very caring person. In the little time that I got to know her, she taught me so much about life itself. She was strong and a fighter. She fought through this for over 2 and a half years. She cared so much for everybody in the Brigade. She was an amazing person and it was an honor to get to know her.

Maddie, just know, wherever you are right now, we will never forget you and we love you so much. Miss you terribly, sweetie. *cries*

And I'll never forget your Commander Dean. *laughs & smiles*

Love you!

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Re: Memories of our Beloved Maddie
« Reply #8 on Jan 14, 2009, 8:31am »		[Quote]
took me long enough to come here, I really don't know what to say...I mean what DO I say that hasn't already been covered by my fellow soldiers? she was one of the sweetest girls I've ever met, very witty and smart and funny.
I made a Supernatural video in her memory
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WjDSeLV6OU8

I'll never forget you, Madz
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Re: Memories of our Beloved Maddie
« Reply #9 on Jan 14, 2009, 4:09pm »		[Quote]
Now that the tears have finally dried I can now add my post about Maddie.

As everyone before has said, we are family in the Brigade - I have a lot of sisters now - but for some reason to me Maddie felt more like a daughter.

She not only touched the lives of us in the Brigade but also those outside of it - my husband for one. David has followed the Brigade's antics and always enjoys our quips, the "stealing Dean from Vampy" escapades and fell in love with Maddie as quickly as the rest of us. One day she was having a particularly BAD day and not due to the cancer so when I IMd my husband about it he right away asked me to find out her favourite songs/bands so that he would sing and record some for her to help cheer her up. He did his best with the Back Street Boys - Maneth said they had a 'country' sound LOL - but he also added some of his favourites which he does sing well! It was a small thing to do for her but from her message it was worth it:

"Hi Scorpio, I just wanted to thank you and David soooo much for those songs! I LOVED them! I really need to get my mind off of everything and that helped a lot. Thank you sooo much!"

The rest of the Brigade know that I'm often AWOL, due to work, and not always able to pop in at night, but I did at least always try to be on whenever Maddie popped into the thread, especially when the latest treatment was started as it gave her a lot of pain and I wanted to help her through it with encouraging words along with the rest of the members.

Our wonderful Chris was able to send something very special to Maddie last Wednesday and even though she was in a great deal of pain she was extremely happy with her gift from J and this was one of her last messages before going to sleep that night:

"Just know that I really and truly love you guys. You've changed my life and helped me so much. More than you probably even know. I love you guys."

On Thursday she was still in pain but seemed her old self - reading and replying to posts so quickly I couldn't keep up! Vampy had lent her Dean for medicinal purposes ONLY but then she was back to stealing Dean from her and Maddie's wit was in fine form:

"Ohhh my throat, it still hurts. Dean get back here! Where does it hurt, you ask? Right here, and here and here and here and here and here and here. Oh now my lips hurt."

And as everyone has already said, even with what she was going through Maddie worried about us:

"Scorpy, I'm glad that your feeling better. I was worried about you last night. Aww, You don't have to sing a song for me. I don't want you to hurt your throat even more."

I was getting over a cold and had to go home through a snowstorm - not an unusual occurrence when living in Canada - but still she worried.

As I was at work, I missed saying goodnight to her 'live' but posted it anyway knowing that on Friday she would play the Brigade's favourite past time of "catch-up". Well that never happened.

So this ended up being the last conversation I had with Maddie about her Doctor and the lollipop (see Shannon's post) :

"Maddie: I also told him about the lollipop and asked if he wanted one.
Me: You're a nut - so love you - smushes.
Maddie: Yes. Yes I am. Love you too."

So much for the tears having dried up. Love you Little One.......A.



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Re: Memories of our Beloved Maddie
« Reply #10 on Jan 15, 2009, 11:15am »		[Quote]

Jan 14, 2009, 4:09pm, Scorpio1311 wrote:
Now that the tears have finally dried I can now add my post about Maddie.

As everyone before has said, we are family in the Brigade - I have a lot of sisters now - but for some reason to me Maddie felt more like a daughter.

She not only touched the lives of us in the Brigade but also those outside of it - my husband for one. David has followed the Brigade's antics and always enjoys our quips, the "stealing Dean from Vampy" escapades and fell in love with Maddie as quickly as the rest of us. One day she was having a particularly BAD day and not due to the cancer so when I IMd my husband about it he right away asked me to find out her favourite songs/bands so that he would sing and record some for her to help cheer her up. He did his best with the Back Street Boys - Maneth said they had a 'country' sound LOL - but he also added some of his favourites which he does sing well! It was a small thing to do for her but from her message it was worth it:

"Hi Scorpio, I just wanted to thank you and David soooo much for those songs! I LOVED them! I really need to get my mind off of everything and that helped a lot. Thank you sooo much!"

The rest of the Brigade know that I'm often AWOL, due to work, and not always able to pop in at night, but I did at least always try to be on whenever Maddie popped into the thread, especially when the latest treatment was started as it gave her a lot of pain and I wanted to help her through it with encouraging words along with the rest of the members.

Our wonderful Chris was able to send something very special to Maddie last Wednesday and even though she was in a great deal of pain she was extremely happy with her gift from J and this was one of her last messages before going to sleep that night:

"Just know that I really and truly love you guys. You've changed my life and helped me so much. More than you probably even know. I love you guys."

On Thursday she was still in pain but seemed her old self - reading and replying to posts so quickly I couldn't keep up! Vampy had lent her Dean for medicinal purposes ONLY but then she was back to stealing Dean from her and Maddie's wit was in fine form:

"Ohhh my throat, it still hurts. Dean get back here! Where does it hurt, you ask? Right here, and here and here and here and here and here and here. Oh now my lips hurt."

And as everyone has already said, even with what she was going through Maddie worried about us:

"Scorpy, I'm glad that your feeling better. I was worried about you last night. Aww, You don't have to sing a song for me. I don't want you to hurt your throat even more."

I was getting over a cold and had to go home through a snowstorm - not an unusual occurrence when living in Canada - but still she worried.

As I was at work, I missed saying goodnight to her 'live' but posted it anyway knowing that on Friday she would play the Brigade's favourite past time of "catch-up". Well that never happened.

So this ended up being the last conversation I had with Maddie about her Doctor and the lollipop (see Shannon's post) :

"Maddie: I also told him about the lollipop and asked if he wanted one.
Me: You're a nut - so love you - smushes.
Maddie: Yes. Yes I am. Love you too."

So much for the tears having dried up. Love you Little One.......A.





that had me chocked up :'(

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He did his best with the Back Street Boys - Maneth said they had a 'country' sound LOL -

lol well they can sing pretty much anything, he did an awesome job with the song :D
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Re: Memories of our Beloved Maddie
« Reply #11 on Jan 15, 2009, 2:26pm »		[Quote]
I just finished making this for you Maddie. I hope you like it. We love you, baby. *HUGS*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uImwuSM0eMM
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Re: Memories of our Beloved Maddie
« Reply #12 on Jan 15, 2009, 4:04pm »		[Quote]
Here is Alice Jester's blog where she honor's Maddie. It's on page 3 of her blog....

http://blogcritics.org/archives/2009/01/15/102132.php

Thanks again, Alice, for honoring our fallen soldier.
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Re: Memories of our Beloved Maddie
« Reply #13 on Jan 16, 2009, 4:27am »		[Quote]
I know I am called Angel here but I think Maddie deserved that name more :)
She always knew how to cheer me up, Always funny and cheerfull. Like tehre was nothing wrong.
I don't have a good memory but I can still remember some conversations with Madz, Like when we gave her that nickname. I am still in the I can't believe it stage... Crying sometimes..
It seems weird to cry over someone you have never met, who lives on teh other side of the world but she ws like Family, Part of a big, Weird family... Liek Bobby said, Family doesn't end with blood. She was like the Big Sister I wished I had. I just can't believe she is gone, It was liek a magic power of her that every time she was on, we all just like cheered up..
Also we talked about our problems and she just talked with us, even though or problems where nothing compared to hers...
I really wished she would have won this fight, But I think that death is just another Big adventure, And she is exploring the grounds already, waiting for us to join her in many years....

I just hope that she is in peace....

We'll miss you madz.. Goodbye *salutes*
« Last Edit: Jan 16, 2009, 11:41am by Angel Whitaker »Link to Post - Back to Top  IP: Logged
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dealadus
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Re: Memories of our Beloved Maddie
« Reply #14 on Jan 17, 2009, 9:21pm »		[Quote]
_Steff_

im gonna try to do this,
I do remember when i first met Maddie..lol we were alon in the BDOH thread we talked for a while, i never knew she had cancer pretty much i never understood why katie was worried and almost wanted to cancel the wedding, i felt stupid , ashamed that i never saw or knew any of it, it wasnt in my heart to talk about *chuckles* i guess you dont kno what you got till its gone *sniffles* she was cool a very funny person that i wish i could kno more, even if the fact i never saw her....it didnt matter she was great.... a spirit of happyness that will be in all of us. her quote that made me cry
"why do strangers cry when they look at me? " it gets to me , i wish i could be there to hug her...you kno , she was an amazing person who in her life and even after death i believe will change lives, i keep getting this feeling that if i where there i could get to kno her more.....*cries* i could of said more things i wanted too,


guilt is what i felt barely finding out on tuesday, i dont get it why her? what did she do but be kind ? maybe thats what happens...maybe if your too kind too loving you go to a better place....i dont kno im confused i love her she was amazing and ill never forget her...pretty much i think this songs for her



There's no one in town I know
You gave us someplace to go
I never said thank you for that
Thought I might get one more chance

What would you think of me now?
So lucky
So strong
So proud
I Never said thank you for that
Now I'll never have a chance

May angels lead you in
Hear you me my friends
On sleepless roads the sleepless go
May angels lead you in

What would you think of me now?
So lucky
So strong
So proud
I Never said thank you for that
Now I'll never have a chance

May angels lead you in
Hear you me my friends
On sleepless roads the sleepless go
May angels lead you in

And if you were with me tonight
I'd sing to you just one more time
A song for a heart so big
God couldn't let it live

May angels lead you in
Hear you me my friends
On sleepless roads the sleepless go
May angels lead you in

May angels lead you in
Hear you me my friends
On sleepless roads the sleepless go
May angels lead you in

luv ya maddie always will

i wish i could say more my mind is just filled with stuff
« Last Edit: Jan 17, 2009, 9:32pm by dealadus »Link to Post - Back to Top  IP: Logged
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